My life’s Brightest Star ….

Another year has passed, it has been 8 years since the destiny has taken away My life’s brightest star, My Dad! For the past 8 years , every 10th of April I used to stay home no matter what commitment I have. But, this year I sadly couldn’t make it ! On this day 8 years ago, I lost my best friend and an idol who I looked up to, my beloved dad.Going back and forth between sharing this or not , I decided to share with everyone,the experience of losing a parent and grooming myself to who I am today.

My dad passed away unexpectedly and peacefully on the 10th of April 2012. Back then I was 17 years old and was in high school.He didn’t spend tons of time in medical care, he just quietly left us and transitioned to whatever happens when we pass.When I heard the news, I didn’t know how to take it , I sat on the ground ,cried out loud and wanted it to be the baddest dream I’ve ever seen. I never have imagined or pictured a life without him.

Losing Your Dad When You’re a Daddy’s Girl

My father is quite possibly the best person I’ve met in my life so far. As long as I remember I was always a Daddy’s Girl. He was my go to person ever since. Every morning and afternoon on our way to and back from school was our favorite time to talk. I used to share all my gossips at school and he was super interested in every bit of it. Never did I miss one single thing. He was not only my best friend but also the coolest uncle to all my friends. He always welcomed them home , whether it be girls or guys, have a good chat and bother my mom to make sandwiches to treat them. No wonder why our home was everyone’s favorite hangout spot !

The two things he told me frequently were that , I could do anything I wanted and he will always have my back. And I still believe that he’s got my back whenever I start doing something.He always used to brag how smart and clever I was with family and his friends. I always knew that I had that special place in his heart and was always proud of it. Knowing all of it,losing him was really hard and it still is.

With days and years passing by ,I learnt this temporary condition, life, will one day end for us and the ones we love. I knew I had to readjust my life without him.Losing a parent can change you, but losing your dad when you’re a daddy’s girl transforms you.

Here’s how I changed with the loss of my dad:

Show Gratitude

My father’s loss reinforced the importance of appreciating what you have while you have it. The night he died and few months thereafter, I had the deep sense of lost which comes along with a wave of emotions. If you’ve already lost someone really close , you know what I mean. But sometime after, the feeling of immense gratitude helped me recover, cultivating a deeper appreciation for everything positive in my life.Besides the fact that I feel sad and shed tears every time I think of him, I experience a deep feeling of gratitude for having such a great father which surpass my grief in a way I could never imagine.

Since then, whenever I miss him I go down the memory lane and spot a few things that I’m thankful for. It’s surprising how it helps me to re-frame whatever setback I’m experiencing.

Help others

All throughout my dad’s life, he always had a golden heart to help others no matter what the consequences are. Although, he was just a middle class government servant who didn’t have a lot in his pocket, he didn’t think twice to lend a hand when someone asks for help or when he see someone in trouble, may it be family ,friends or complete stranger. An evening walk with him down the lane was enough for me to realize how many people he has helped in different times of his life.I always saw him comforting others and sit back ,enjoy what he did.If the roads of my hometown could speak , they will say what a humble man he was.

Since the day I lost him, I made it a habit to help everyone I possibly can. Whether it be my best-friend, my colleague from uni or a totally unknown person I see on the road , I helped them in every way I could. This gave me a content which implied that I’m sort of reliving the life that my dad used to live.

Never Stop Growing

I remember the times I used to stay at his office to take printouts for my school work. Back then he was learning Spreadsheets on his own and I asked him “Why so much struggle to learn stuff when you already have a job?” He replied, no matter what is happening in life, we always have room to grow and learn. Since then I began challenging and bettering myself in every aspect of my life which helped me to achieve my dreams and reach greater heights.

Show your love

My entire family knew how much my dad cared for all of them. He always told me and my brother how much he loved us and how much we mean to him. Those words could make us happier than huge gifts longed for years. And I still can hear them in my mind.When he left us , I hope he rarely had anything untold. I always learnt to show love and say how much certain people mean to me whenever I can. Some of my friends even made me a joke when I write lengthy posts on Facebook about my best friend. But I still continue to be open about it , show and say how much I love people around me.

I always feel that the time I got to spend with my dad was not really enough.There have been thousands of times when I’ve wished he was still here, to celebrate all of my joys and help me calm my fear. Yet the 17 years I spent with him gave me a lifetime worth memories and lessons. I’m thankful for everything he taught us and for the love and affection he poured on us.

I truly miss him so much which words cannot express but I am holding today and everyday on the beautiful memories that have made me the person I am today.The memories that guide me to live a fulfilling life and make him proud!

Holding my sweet dad in all the light and love; may he attain the supreme bliss of Nibbana !

“In every loss there is a gain, as in every gain there is a loss, and with each ending comes a new beginning.” ~Buddhist Proverb